Closely knitted with rejection by ladies, which we have dealt with here, is the fear of fine girls. In this post, I want to take you by the hand and walk you through how to overcome the fear of fine girls
As with everything in life, the mind controls our lives and fear is one thing that it experiences sometimes. We fear rejection, reverence/fear people that are beyond our league, class and social standings but the fear of ladies comes from two major sources; past bitter experiences and our lack of confidence in ourselves. The law of past bitter experiences states that once bitten, twice shy. It maintains that you must avoid the things that might make you feel bad and unwanted. Respect yourself and do not approach strangers with fine expensive lashes and laces. While the law of lack of confidence postulates that fine/rich ladies are beyond our league. What if you lose your tongue while trying to talk to them and thereafter they go laughing at you? What if they do not like your face and wears? What if they embarrass you? What if they do not like the fragrance of your cologne? What would you even say to them? Arrrhh!
All these are nothing but the musing of the unadventurous guys that lead lonely lives. A man is not a man by his broad shoulders or long jrod. A man is a man because of his balls! The cool character of his guts. Alien to him is the fear of fine girls. Heck! he reeks of reverence and posh!
A captain that is afraid to lose sight of the shore can never sail. Nor would the one who is scared of the storm ever master his craft! You can never walk on water unless you step out of the boat. To live life to its fullest, you must master your inhibitions and dare the unknown and seemingly impossible. The lion is not the king of the jungle by size but by heart! And to make a mark here on earth, you must have a heart…my mentor would always say.
Below listed are secrets you must arm yourself with if you are to meet and marry that one meant for you!
I define confidence as the ability to hold your sway wherever, with whoever and express your swagger. It is being certain of your steps, sure of your balls and being in absolute control of all surrounding airs. It is the ability to step into a room and light up the place with your wine, wits and wisdom. it is realising that you are one of a kind and the world would have been a boring place without you in it. It is knowing fully-well that you are a blessing to whoever you meet. Confidence is the sum total of balls and we either go hard or go home. We dedicated a whole nine powerful articles to building confidence kindly start from here if you have not read them.
Stephen Covey in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective people said that when you live in a world of scarcity, you compete for available resources, even when there is an abundance of them. You tend to see the cup half empty instead of half full. You tend to cling to a toxic girlfriend because you presume she is the best life has got to offer when there are prettier, nicer, funnier, richer, more endowed, more educated ladies out there.
Abundance Mentality, on the flip side, flows from an inner sense of personal worth and security. Its law states that there is abundance out there! Enough for everybody to have and to spare. With this mindset, the fear of fine girls is thrown through the roof. You are more intuned with your airs and ways and can approach any one without hesitation nor reservation
The saying holds true that the beautiful ones are yet to be born and there are a lot of fishes in the seas! So stop clinging to a lady as if your life depends on her while the big world out there, with all her fine creatures, lay in waste. You were living before she came into your life and after she is long gone, your life would yet roll on. And for you to get tongue-tied because you saw one on the street with almost everything you crave in a lady, tantamounts to madness. There are a lot more out there!
Do know that clinging to a lady makes you lose your worth, you get friend-zoned or turned into a maga/mugu? How do you cling? Well, by being at her beck and call. Making yourself too available to her like you have no better thing to do with your life. For clinging through incessant calls, messages, voice notes, dinner, gifts, airtime and always wanting to spend time with her reduces your worth in her mind. Auto mode.
How To Develop An Abundant Mentality
John C. Maxwell admonishes that to develop this kind of mentality, you must come to terms with the fact that there are more, than enough, better ladies out there! There was a study carried out by students of Havard which noted that when humans focus solely on one particular thing/thought, other cool, more fun possibilities staring at them in the face, go completely unnoticed. The last time I checked, there are a lot more women than men on earth. Never be so hung on a girl or any human at that. Be ready to dust up and walk on by. Activate sendless on a breeze. Guide your thoughts in a positive direction. You are too valuable to be toiled with. Also, as you grow in this lane, you must appreciate the fact that it is not every Tom, Dick and Harry that can be your friend. Select those you let into your space with an acute filter. To round this part up, you must wear the confidence that comes with mastering experiences. Develop skills that add value to your worth.
You must learn to give ladies the gift of missing you. Never be too available to any lady. Especially the one you really like. Never give a lady a complete seat in your life. If you must, get them a half-chair. Put them constantly on edge. Let them know that if they do not treat you right, another girl is right at the door waiting to swoop in and replace them. That way, you maintain the tension and she would be into it with all her heart. While at it, never attach too much importance to a lady!
So go out there and meet these lovely creatures. Spin a line of fun across their dull horizon whether they appeal to you or not and while the ovation is loudest, take a royal bow(Boss Ball). For not for naughts were you born with balls!
Treasure Thrash Syndrome
To overcome the fear of approaching fine girls, kindly note that one man’s treasure is another man’s thrash. Yes, that very lady you feel have the world at her beck and call and therefore, totally beyond your league, is nothing but a lonely bird yearning for a guy just like you to step into her world and take the blue nights away. Somewhere, a guy is actually ignoring her calls, does not have her time and treating her like thrash. Ignore the fine made up face, underneath, she yearns for a true touch! So, do not think it twice, approach her! You would be surprised how you guys would instantly bond. I am speaking from the wealth of experience I wear on my cufflinks bought for me by the numerous ladies that were totally beyond my league I bedded in time past. Once you can overcome your little-unfounded fear, the world is your oyster!
There are a lot of things you have learnt and would continue to learn from this blog, you must, without hesitation, practice them until they become part of your life! For by practice the monkey learn the act of survival jumping from one tree to the other. This point cannot be overemphasised. You must practice meeting girl online, physically and all otherwise.
Appreciate the fact that they are Little Babies
You would not imagine that it is the ladies that, seemingly, were out of my league in time past, I call smallie and they go laughing in awe wondering what sort of guts I got. They are all babies because they all cry when you hurt them. No matter how it is, they get f***ked whether they are on top or not. They go screaming and scratching when they are cuming calling you big deddy and ish. They are babies because they crave attention and just like it when you give them listening ears. They are babies because you can easily pick them up and swing them around and they love it. They are babies because you get to take them out most times. They love chocolates, ice creams etc. These are baby foods. Lol. Yes, you must know that they are babies and you need not to be scared of babies bro!
The more you delay throwing your fun web at a new soft doll, the harder it gets. You would get tongue tied, assess her and just tell yourself the lie of moving on and respecting yourself. You miss 100% of the shot you do not take. While you are sitting there wondering if you should say a sexy hello and throw your fun jabs, asking your self ‘what if she rejects me’, she is actually thinking in her mind; ‘how do I talk to this guy and get his digits? he seems like my perfect kinda guy!’
Here is My Delay Experience:
While I was still learning in this lane. I walked into a bank to carry out some transactions. Having scanned the hall( yea, guys like me always do that, don’t ask me why. lol), I noticed three hawt ones. Two were temporarily inaccessible because they are members of staff of the bank and are not attending to customers and were situated behind the counter far away. That left me with only one option- a customer like me sitting on the waiting section. I narrowed in and sat close to her after picking up my deposit slip. Sat quietly filling my form as she was fiddling with her phone. Submitted same and sat back waiting for them to call my name. While I was there thinking of how I would break the ice, this ugly short guy walked in and sat on her right-hand side while I was on the left. In fact, he stole someone’s sit that just stepped off. He didn’t waste time asking her for a pen. She did not have one rather borrowed mine and gave to him. Before I knew what was happening, she is laughing at some stupid lines he was throwing at her. I was boiling in my mind! Long story short, after her transaction, he made her wait for him( after bribing his way out and got attended to swiftly) and they both went off to lunch while I was sitting there like a lost dock with a raging mind! That was when I took the decision never to go to a bank with a pen even again and one of the reasons I rarely hold back convo now! If you mistakingly catch my fancy, I thrill you with words till you drool. No time. lol.
On A Final Note
Fine girls love to meet guys like us as we love to meet them too. In fact, they are too lonely because of the numerous average friend zoned guys in their lives, they crave for guys that know their onion in the dating arena. They are also just too bored to skip us and appreciate meeting guys like us. Always have that at the back of your mind. Know.
Next, we would look at fun ways to start a conversation with new girls