Why Nice Guys Get Friend-zoned
Ever wondered why nice guys get friend-zoned? Even though we apply all the principles we were taught by momma? Momma thought us to always be nice to ladies. Courteous and treat them with high level of chivalry. Well stuffed with ladies’ niceness cells, we grew up and continued therein. Little did we know that this momma’s lectures where nothing but calculated ways to keep men in check. This is why most daughter inlaws/mother inlaws are always at each other’s throats; a transcending generational fight for who gets more of the guy’s niceness! To the female folks, guy’s niceness is Bae! lol
But quickly, we grew and realized, overwhelmingly, that been nice does not get you girls, you really desire. Rather, it only makes you spend your hard earn cash, get used by girls and eventually, your nice guy’s a** gets friend-zoned. The best you could hope for in the dating terrain was the post of an auxiliary boyfriend; one who gets called upon when there is a task to be performed, assignment to be done, an outing to be footed, a shoulder to cry on when bad boys have broken some hearts and a comforting, non-judgemental hands to hold when they are faced with the cruelties of lives based on their past actions.
Nice Guys Wail
Through the thick and thin, we stayed – got woken up in the middle of the night because she fell sick( and her so-called boyfriend isn’t taking her calls; he is browsing another vClef) and under the rain, with the lonely embrace of the cold night, we went in search of a drug store and thereafter, trace our way to her place. Administered the drug, heat water, made some coffee, gave her to drink and stayed with her. We barely closed our eyes all night! The next day, we miss our class(test) because we couldn’t just leave her in that state. Then finally, she gets well and our reward? A smile. A Lil pat on the shoulder. Very rarely, a thank you and a peck on the cheek! and we gleam with excitement as we beam from ear to ear! But deep down, we wanted more! We did all that so that she can come to the realization how much we cared. How we can basically lay down our lives for her. Bribe her with our resources, time and efforts! But we, still, get left in the dark.
Then there came a day, after catching the so-called boy friend bedding another cherry and breaking up with him, she came crying on my shoulders ( yes, this is my story). I hugged her close as she cried, she had downed some hard liquor. Before I knew it, she started kissing me, I responded with passion, then my hands moved over her boobs and I fondled gently. ‘Oh heavens, I finally touch this boobs after 3 years?!’ Then suddenly, like she could see through my mind, stopped me. ‘let’s stop it, we are just friends (oh Mr Nicey!) before we do something we will leave to regret and I might just hate you thereafter’. I wholeheartedly concurred! arrrhhhh!!! A week after, I called her and guess what? she was riding the ex boy friend! Came with some flimsy excuse later that she missed him. Sad. Very Sad!
This is the summary of the life of a nice guy. They live in magnum frustration. Let’s look at why their lives get so messed up even with their seeming niceness.
Why Nice Guys Get Friend-zoned
They are boring:
They have no Life of their own! They place the happiness of ladies above theirs and let Jrod and emotions rule them at will! As the Ladies would put it: they are just too PREDICTABLE! Predictability, kills attraction. When a girl knows that she got you by the balls, she can basically make you feed off her palms and if she demand you wash her panties? Yea, you gladly will. She knows if she leaves you somewhere, go frolic with life, you would always be there when she returns. They keep you in a state of limbo, waste the better part of their youthful years rolling with bad boys and when she is well of age, well spent, with one or two kids from different fathers, she comes home to Mr Nice a**! Yes you! This is why a lot of nice guys end up raising kids of bad boys. Why a lot of guys are nothing but ceremonial husbands( a lady that has been with a boss, cannot submit to a weakling. She would always do her bidding #fact).
They are freaking needy/weak
Listen to their thoughts’ line; ‘ it took me years and a lot of efforts before I was able to get this one! I have to hold unto her with all my life. Call her every time, spoil her with gifts, always be there whenever she needs me. Try not to annoy her by providing all that she asks. In fact, she is the centre of my world! I cannot afford to lose her!‘ Little did they know that this attitude of been all over her and giving her all she wants and letting her dictate the tone and get away with all sorts of crime, is the surest way to lose her! To get ladies easily, you must know that SENDING LESS is actually more attractive than being all over her and needy like a peacock on heat. You must give them the gift of missing you. Let them know that with or without them, life goes on.
Ladies always look out for guys that can protect them.
Nice guys mostly get bullied either by their mom, sisters or other guys. Unfortunately, ladies feel secured with guys that can stand up for them not some wimps who is still tied to his mother’s apron strings.
They can’t put their heads to words
Nice guys complain a lot about girls using them but they’re too scared to actually tell her what they expect of her and the fact that they are doing the things for her not because she deserves it, but because they just want to. Learn from ladies; they are very direct when they ask you for things! Even if you are just meeting them for the very first time. You have to learn how to do same! In fact, to get out of your inhibitions, when next a lady ask you to buy her food or any other thing, ask her this golden boss balls question; ‘What is in it for ME?’ or ask her this; ‘ of what economic benefit is that to ME?’ or give her the shocker of her life ‘ you want fast food? alright, let’s get take away, some hard liquor and roll off to my place. I want to undress you and watch you whine on me’. Say this with an air of confident sendless! She is either down, or not! If she behave like a lil soft serve, treat her like one. Simple. Your money should not be eaten for free henceforth. It is high time guys stop hiding behind the vale of stupidity and fear of losing her. If she isn’t afraid to lose you by asking you for things that are of benefit to her, because you try to give her the opportunity to know you, neither should you!
They are Nerds with zero bedding skills
It is the 21st century people! You can’t be stuck in your mother’s basement like bill gates all because you love romancing the keypad of your laptop than socializing. Computers are just a lil part of life. The big green world is right out there! Nerds tend not to know the first thing about the world of women. They spend their entire life learning but missing out on the much needed experience of rolling with a fine bone. Dude, dude, How can you not know the first thing to say to a lady and get her attracted? And perhaps, by some sheer works of an unknown wind, she fancies you, how can you use your teeth in trying to unhook a bra? Or clip nipples with your lips and drag them like they are feeding bottles? How can you work so hard to get laid only to end up not knowing what to do? lol. How can you not have the balls, experience or confidence to make a woman feel sexually fulfilled nor satisfied?
They are contented with been second fiddles
Nice guys just love been the auxiliary boyfriends. They love filling in the gaps. They were born to assist. Side guy is their middle name and they take extra special pleasure in dating ladies in their minds even if she is not aware. Let’s not rock the boat. We were fashioned to foot bills, do assignments, house chores and wash panties, never touching cookies, waste our lives caring for another man’s properties! Weren’t we?
Always ready to please her
For a lil sniff of a lady’s panties, they can sell their soul! You see them on facebook thanking ladies for ‘acceptation’ of their friend’s request. They like every post of their crush and no matter how ugly, fat and fugly she is, they would wax lyrical and sing her, jrod induced, beauty praises.
They try not to annoy the ladies, say the seemingly right words and hope they get noticed. They are the type that goes flooding a girl’s inbox with messages thinking one day she would respond. They go spending on girls thinking that they can BUY them with gifts and gets frustrated when they have been friend zoned
Nice guys lack a mind of their own. A guy who agrees to everything; lacks opinion and lets people treat them however they want, is not attractive. Someone with a distinct personality who isn’t afraid of voicing his opinion is going to attract more women than just pretending like he’s cool with all the bullcrap she does, says or orders. Because of these and many more, they end up eating left-over by bad guys.
The worse of it all is the unwillingness to change. Hopefully, if you are reading this, you would take conscious steps to unlearn your nice ways. Ask yourself this question: how much( time, money, energy) have you lost in trying to be nice to ladies? Was it worth it? We all know that answer to that.
It is high time to wake up and taste the coffee. For it is later than you think.
Sense Pill 1: The way up is the way down. Ladies are like money, the more you chase them by being all over them, the harder they tend.
Have this royal mentality: all seats in your life are occupied, the only space she got, is half a bum.
Balls Task 1:
Go out there and meet two different ladies. Then let’s try and set up a date with them.
Call Lady 1 up and say ‘I’d really appreciate it if you can find time for me this Friday, I want to take you out’
Thereafter, call up lady 2 and say ‘ I have this usual ritual on Fridays after work I just go to this very cool spot and chill, a lot of options on the food menu, cool sounds filtering at the background, as I sip my wine and watch them stars above after lining my tummy with a five-course dinner, you could come along this Friday’
Note their responses and learn from them.
Next, we will look at how to deal with rejection